Finals finish. Breathing can resume, a lull in the day becomes acceptable—welcomed even. Only a few days until the school reveals the final outcome: semester grades.
As usual, at the beginning of the semester, I set my expectations high: I need all A’s. One second later, I modified my mindset: I want all A’s. Time passes. I hope to get all A’s. While keeping my composure outwardly, I took a large inward sigh. I had a lot of work ahead of me.
So, I did the work. I overcame anxiety to talk to my professors, studied constantly, and after waiting a few days past their release, I pulled up my final grades.
Two “A’s.” The rest of the three grades: “A-.”
I was grateful. This transcript was fantastic, and I owed a lot to others for their support and help. I especially owed a lot to God. But, it’s not always so easy to feel grateful when coming so close to and failing to reach an “A.”
Many students experience this frustration. Why?
An “A” says “you’re great,” “you’re the best you can be,” and “you did all you could do, congrats!”
An “A-” says “you’re great,” “you’re super good,” and “you’re just not quite good enough. Try again next time.”
There are two perspectives when encountering an “A-.” Plenty of people look at the more positive perspective of the “A-” grade: the A part.
The A perspective tells a person the good points of the result. It lets them know they not only passed the class, but they achieved it with excellency. It recognizes all of their accomplishments and gives them a pat on the back, assuring the achiever that they can move on satisfied. They did good, and although it may not have been the best, the A perspective reassures them that being the best isn’t necessary. They did what they could and received great results because of that.
Unfortunately, plenty of people look at the negative side of the “A-” grade: the minus part.
The minus perspective says what it indicates. Less than. Subtracted from the best possible outcome. It could be the best, but it’s not. This small sign impacts students’ perspective greatly, taunting them as it poses itself right next to their unclaimed “A.” It says, “This is what you could have had, except I’m right here.” It’s a death call for most perfectionists.
This is the life I have lived throughout most of my years. The “A-” life. Motto: Good, but never best.
Solo auditions: rejected until one brilliant moment in eighth grade, and then rejected continually again thereafter. Play auditions: always rejected. Soccer: climbed my way to the top because the state’s best goalkeeper (same age as me) got injured our senior year. As soon as she healed, they put the recovering keeper back in. Apply to Brigham Young University: get accepted. After my third time applying.
Essentially, I was always good. And I was always failing.
So, no surprise, as I continued to achieve these “A-” moments in life, I thought in the minus perspective. I couldn’t jump as high as the other goalkeeper. I didn’t sing as beautifully as the other girls. I wasn’t fast enough. Smart enough. Strong enough. I needed to be better. And whenever I was better, I still wasn’t best. So, I needed to be better again.
Unfortunately, living based on the minus perspective only leads to dissatisfaction and lack of fulfillment. A dog can chase it’s tail, but it shouldn’t pursue it in negativity. For, when the dog finally catches the tail, it will chomp down recklessly, and find that the bite hurts. It’s better to pursue things mindfully and positively.
With effort, time, and small lessons from my mom, I learned to think in the “A” perspective. Try hard, appreciate the things you can do, and learn from what you can’t do.
I put forth these practices in high school and was able to overcome many challenges. One day in college, while visiting home, I walked into the kitchen and my mom was reminiscing about the past. She talked about my sister and her straight “A” life and then talked about me and my less than straight “A” life. Suddenly inspired, she said, “You know, you’re pretty lucky. You’ve failed a lot!”
I laughed and thanked her partially sarcastically. But, she was right. While it seemed that the minus part of my life was interfering in my success, it was actually building up success. It taught me far more lessons than I could have learned settling down at a comfortable “A.” And, as I entered into the A perspective of the outcomes I encountered, my ability to recover and grow from setbacks increased tremendously, giving me a high turnover rate (so to speak).
From the right perspective, or the A perspective, the “A-” life is not so bad. Times will come and probably already have come when life feels close to great, but is just less than perfect. Honestly, at times life may even feel more like the “C” life or the “F” life. Regardless of the “grade” of life you are living, we have the ability to transform our perspective about it. As we do this, we can better effect the outcome and the blessings we receive. So, in the end, we’ll be much better off for having an “A-” than an “A.”
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