As you read this post, I encourage you not to focus on any quantities mentioned, but focus on the message given. If the mention of the above food quantities may prohibit your ability to receive the message, please do not read this article.
I remember one time I went to an event and they gave us free pizza, but they only allowed one slice. This ensured everyone would get to have some. As my husband and I walked back home in the dimming skylight, I said, “I’m glad they only let us have one slice. I always take too much and end up sick.”
He agreed with me. What can I say? We both like pizza and sometimes our will isn’t against having more. But, in that moment, I decided I would not ever eat more than one slice because I didn’t want to feel ill. I’d rather feel satisfied than sick.
That’s where the problem started.
Later, the problem continued when I woke up one day and received some disappointing news. Disturbed, I ate a small amount of cereal and a granola bar, left early for work, and purposefully decided I would skip lunch. For some reason, since my emotions were out of sorts and things were out of control, I thought starving for a meal would help me feel better.
I couldn’t control my bad morning, but I could control what I ate, right? In addition, I would have accomplished a hard task, as I never enjoy not eating when I know I probably should. But, I assumed that later I would feel good about skipping lunch because l wouldn’t need to worry about any weight gain.
Sure, as I decided this I knew I had decided to do the wrong thing. Starving the body is obviously not a physically healthy choice, as our body needs nutrients. It’s also not an emotionally healthy choice, as our physical state influences our emotions. Not to mention, I was allowing myself to slip into some unhealthy habits that I’m still working on: focusing on food too much. Worrying about weight too much. Living for my appearance and not living for life itself.
Well, I skipped lunch and the day only got harder. I kept getting more and more tired, and I came to the conclusion I really had made a mistake. I started to feel the physical toll and regretted my choice. So, I forgave myself and did my best to move forward.
For days, I had been craving pizza, and this particular day I also had a coupon to get some. My husband and I ordered the pizza, and I couldn’t help but smile at that delicious, circular slab of goodness. I felt spent and couldn’t wait to get dinner into my mouth. I did remember my previous commitment of only eating one slice, so I only took one. While my husband and I watched a movie, I quickly finished my first slice, listened to my stomach, and felt that I was still reasonably hungry.
We still needed to go grocery shopping and didn’t have much else to eat, so I just grabbed another slice. I didn’t eat it quite as quick as the previous one, but when I had finished, I grabbed and ate another slice with little to no forethought for if I still felt hungry. When I finished that third slice, I felt fairly full. I almost felt overfull, but luckily had no aching in my stomach. Three slices is a lot, but it’s not horrible, I reassured myself.
Two hours later the movie finished, and even though I still felt on the brink of being overfull, I couldn’t get rid of the taste of the pizza from my mind. I ate my fourth and final slice (saving only one slice for leftovers).
After this happened, I realized why I ate twice as much as usual: I had skipped a meal. That realization usually doesn’t comfort me much. Overeating typically consumes my thoughts and ruins my self-confidence. I especially feel worse if I’ve set limits on myself and failed to keep those limits. Oftentimes, I’ll begin to analyze how my “mistake” will effect my weight and body shape, and I’ll frequently force myself to do a last minute workout to try and make up the difference.
But, this time, I didn’t do any of that. Yeah, I felt sick to my stomach, and that wasn’t fun, but I understood why I did what I did. I was hungry because of my real mistake: unnecessarily starving myself. So, I overcompensated.
And you know what? That happens. I shouldn’t worry or punish or hate myself for a small slip up. If I do, I’ll just leave myself weaker than before, and I’ll handle future problems even more poorly. Rather, I knew that in these moments I need to love myself, forgive myself, and accept that my body might have needed the food.
In the future, I can feel assured that this will help remind me to not skip meals and to listen my body. Maybe it will only need one slice of pizza, or maybe it will need three. Regardless, it will let me know if I’m hungry or not. I may not have a perfect handle on things, but these little changes here and there are all I need.
Now, I know many people deal with this issue. Actually, way more people deal with it than I ever imagined. It seems nearly every girl I talk to has dealt with this, and who knows how many men struggle with variations of this attitude. We all need various forms of help, and we all might have to conquer this issue in various ways. Whatever assistance might apply to your situation, don’t forget one key to this and to many issues: be kind to yourself.
Love yourself. That means forgive your mistakes and encourage yourself to move forward in ways that will improve your well-being. If you feel you can’t go forward, reach out to someone who can help pull you along: friend, family member, counselor, etc. Letting some of the people closest to me know about my struggle has improved my situation tremendously. It’s helped.
Lastly, know that God loves you. That your body doesn’t define you—not to Him, not to me, not to many people. You are you because of how you treat others and because of the wonderful traits you carry.
I hope to address stuff like this in the future, but for now, work on loving yourself and remembering that you’re worthy of being treated well. Things will get better—and at times they may get a little worse—but they will always get more better than anything when we treat ourselves and others with this kindness.
Love, MRC
Read MRC 