This morning I woke up dead, but forced myself out of bed and kept moving, since I’m supposed to act alive. My body and mind moved slowly, and instead of working out, I sat on the couch for thirty minutes, thinking about how tired I felt. I debated whether or not I should still exercise, trying to leverage the benefits in a way that made myself get up and get going. Unconvinced, I still swung myself off the leather cushions, changed, and exercised.
Although I had started my day late, I didn’t adjust my routine. I figured I would arrive on-time, rather than early. I ate my eggs and yogurt (with granola, of course); I showered and changed; and I spent some time with my husband before leaving.
Looking at the my phone, I sighed and said, “I’m going to be late.”
And suddenly, I accepted that. I would miss, likely, the first fifteen minutes of my class. Usually, that caused me panic. I needed to do well in class, so I needed to learn, which meant I needed to be on time to learn whatever the teacher taught. Usually, I rushed my walking pace and arrived in the classroom panting and sweaty.
Except, I didn’t want to do that this time. In truth, I would not miss a quiz or anything else necessary by missing the beginning of class. Trying to arrive for those first few minutes would cause more stress than any help I would get by being there on time. So, I left behind any worries and I walked out my door and onto the sidewalk, moving with ease and assurance: This would benefit me more.
In my “relaxed state,” I actually moved more slowly than usual. I also felt better than usual. I wasn’t pushing myself forward, faster. I accepted what was.
Then, I thought, Why don’t I do this more? Why do I rush when I walk?
The reasons: I want to get to school. I want to get home. That happens more quickly when I rush. . .
But, what happens when we don’t rush? When we leave time to take things a little more slowly.
For me, I felt like I could breathe on my walk. I did not feel any stress and so I also felt less negative emotions in other areas. I enjoyed myself more in those moments, when they often felt like a burden. I had achieved a sense of mindfulness.
Mindfulness is when a person fully submits themselves to the present, without feeling/acting overly reactive or overwhelmed. One simple search shows that many medical or psychological studies have focused on mindfulness, and others have conducted them for many years—decades. The Harvard Gazette wrote a great article all about it.
Multiple studies discovered that mindfulness have helped others experiencing depression, anxiety, and even chronic pain. Maybe you don’t deal with those mental or physical illness’, but have we not all had moments of anxiety or deep-sorrow? I think most of us have, and perhaps, many of us have lacked these helpful moments of mindfulness because we’re acting like me.
Busy. Rushing. Trying to skip past the intermediate parts of life. Wanting and waiting for the next moment. Maybe for you, it’s the fast-walk to get somewhere, or the disliked drive that sometimes takes place during a traffic jam. Maybe it’s the quick cleaning before someone arrives, or the crazy cart maneuvering to glide in and out of the grocery store. Sometimes these chaotic moments come unavoidably, but when they come reoccurring-ly, it’s time to do a reassessment.
We should ask ourselves why we’re rushing and then give answers that talk about the consequences of our rushing, not the logistics. As I mentioned earlier, I knew why I always flew from my house to school: I wanted to get there more quickly. That’s the logistical side. More importantly though, I wanted to earn good grades and rushing helped me get to class or homework sooner. I thought this would contribute to a natural consequence of better grades. However, after a short reassessment, I could conclude that I did not need to fret and fast-walk to school in that particular instance. It wouldn’t negatively effect my grades. In fact, most times it would not serve as a detriment to walk at a normal pace. This process helped me transition from a rushing fray to a peaceful mindfulness.
It’s also important to asses if we rush because we’ve created an unnecessarily busy schedule. What we can and can’t afford to exclude/include in our schedule differs vastly, but take time to sit down and see how you can adjust it to allow yourself moments of peace. Even if that only means a few extra minutes dedicated to a less pressing travel time, so be it. I’ve found that moments in the car can bring calmness as well.
This morning I walked more slowly, with a less frantic mindset. I can’t say tomorrow morning will be the same. I can say that I enjoyed this morning though, and it’s reminded me to spend more time breathing and less time bulldozing through the day. Seize these small moments of mindfulness and you may find the extra ease you need.
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